The Phone Call
2005-04-10 @ 6:34 p.m.

It was so weird. Midnite called me at his work. He asked me about why I told off one of his bitches. And then, to get to the important point he said asked me what I was going to do about the baby. I told him I dont know and then he said some other stuff and then I hung up.
This is so weird because I thought he was something different, I thought he was really nice. Everyone I talked to said,"I told you so". I think I shouldn't of gave him the benefit of the doubt because look at where I am at now. I was talkin to my friend Ryan and he said all my dreams are shattered and Midnite goes on and lives his life. I told Midnite if he doesn't want to be apart of my babys life then don't because I dont want him to be a dad because I force him, I am so stressing out at this point and it hurts because now that I caught him cheating on me he has nothing to say for it. Atleats he cares about this baby. Or, atleast he is pretending, I'm so hurt that he was cheatin on me with that girl Halley. I'm not going to say bitch because she really didn't know. I would of been hurt about it if I was with someone for a year and then I found out he was having a baby with another girl, I would be hurt.
It's never really been fair for me. The thing that went wrong in all my other relationships was that I was all fatal and obsessed with all my boyfriends. I'm not about to let Midnite and me go through the same thing. I can't do that. The feelings I feel are making me feel so low! It hurts, I can't beleive I allowed myself to get used-again.